some nice ones

Maybe. from Sauvie Island: I always go on bike rides with the camera. When I'm alone, the two are definately mutually exclusive: I just walk around a lot and take pictures and stop every half mile. When I ride bikes with Spencer, he never lets me stop. The camera is just dead weight. This one came out kind of pin-holy:

Some River action and mountain in the background or something: Some part of this double exposure made it look hella old.

Some fuzzy animals, some farm creatures, and Pace in her kitchen. One roll had great pictures over a period of a couple weeks, the other was burnt through mad fast. I was just hyped on having my new SLR:

Many of my accidental double exposures were really close to being really cool; most just missed the mark though



Well, Heres a picture of mac with ham on his chin. Or hair... Hair or ham. I can't remember. He did just get done smashing some ham though.

Steve Wilson and some dandelions.

Wilson playing the keyboard and Devon
See how that goes?

I guess I just don't know a lick about taking pictures. They came out kind of fun though, huh? I don't know.




My friend's most attractive sweater vest

Yes!! Dice games! Nickles were worth a penny, and dimes were worth a quarter, quarters were worth a coin, and Dan broke out some gold! Also, the last roll was for all the mustard.

It was really enough to tucker a guy out!

I don't know if this one is blog material, its kind of a whatever half blink, but I'm just showing the versatility of the sweater vest.


Jake Arcularius fan-site!!

I used to think I was pretty tough because I had a band named after me (the Vodka Slushee that J*** V**** made-- the band played one show in my basement and wore t shirts with my picture taped on them. Oh, and I made a vodka slushee in a blender while forbes rapped a song about me). Well, Jake Arcularius had a real band named after him (Arcularius--r.i.p.). Also, he has really floppy arms and legs and can do skids on a fixed gear bike (tough!!!)
Also somtimes he get's wasted! He's not afraid to hippied dance, or wrestle

or paint his fingers orange and put white out on it that says "fingered an injun"

or eat a raw yam

What, did you think I forgot how to party? You think I sole' em all? Jake is the man, man. As with anytime getting wasted, sometimes he's a depressed wreck, but usually he's just giddy and, like I said, floppy. He's like a rag doll. I guess I just have images of him hippie dancing floating around in my head. He's a dead head.



In my continuing coverage of Dan Wilson Fandom, I have exposed paranormal images on celluloid!!!
If you have any suggestions as to what this could be, leave them in the comments!!!
This is one of the most exciting pictures I've ever received from the picture man!!!

My broomies and some art school rejects

This is Christy- my roommate. I call her K dog and she never makes me any toast, even though I ask for some like, everyday. She also works with gnarly kids at some fckd up school. Here she is with her garden that she started, but now she's going to Malaysia and abondoning the garden, hard core. Maybe I'll do some gardening though, who knows? Somebodies gotta grow the summer cropz.

This is Matt. He's not really my roommate, he's an ex-owner of the house that I live at, and he also (used to?) date christy. He lives in california, and is up here now doing some business and letting me ride his motorcycle. He's chill, even though yesterday he shaved his beard to go do some banking. Do you see how that thing is midair that he's throwing around?

So I got an SLR camera and now I'm the biggest photo poser on the block:


Andrew Chen fan-site

This probably won't work, but if Chen ever googles himself maybe he'll see my stalker crazy website and laugh. Andrew Chen. Andrew Chen. Andrew Chen knows a lot about science (andrew chen chemistry, Andrew Chen biology, Andrew Chen organic Chemistry), music (guitar Andrew chen), and popular culture (why is Andrew Chen hot? Because Andrew Chen is fly). Andrew Chen also knows a thing or two about throwin down and doing jokes. Andrew Chen mid-joke (probably):

Andrew Chen and I went to a blazers game. It was the last home game of the season. Andrew Chen and I scalped tickets and drank huge cups of beer and laughed. Andrew Chen and I laugh all the time, its from our Rapport.

Andrew Chen's dad is a pro photographer, so Andrew Chen was a model ever since he was a baby probably. Then Andrew Chen turned into a real model. He always wears fresh gear from Nike photo shoots. It's just because Andrew Chen is so handsome.

Andrew Chen, as you see, is also dangerous. He's a rebel. And Andrew Chen likes dirt bikes. And dangerous Andrew Chen maneuvers.

action shots up the ace

My roommate has a motorcycle. It's a piece of junk that just started running again, and it doesn't run well. The piece of junkness is really one of the best parts about the motorcycle. I always ride it and try to look tough.

See, this is the approach.

Heady off roading in the front yard! You can see that I'm barely in control.

This is just Chen looking really tough in the driveway. We pulled hole shots in the road in front of my house with no helmets on! It was totally baaaaad assssssss. All the neighbors were like, WTF?!!?!?!


Salad Shooter

If I were a food critic, and I am one, I would have said this about this salad I made the other day: "John put on the red sause because he thought it would look cool when taking his token art-shot- shallow-depth-of-field-salad picture. The abundance of the sause seemed to originate and depend soley on it's visual appeal, while totally neglecting the impact on the over-all taste and texture of the salad. C- for originality, taste, and presentation. 1 star out of 5." If I were a food photographer- and I am one- This pict would look different, lighter, but the cottage cheese would not just be a white blob. Maybe food photographers use macro lenses? If I were an editor of a food magazine I would be pumped up. I would run this picture on the cover and I would quote myself extensively.

Spencer and I did our bike team training. We're going to dominate-- I just need to straighten out and he needs to heal up a little. It's all in good fun really. We rode out to Sauvie Island and looped around. I was all hung over and Spencer left me in the dust. I was miserable and took this action shot:

Oh yeah, I learned that taking pictures with an SLR camera is mad tedious and tough. You have to focus, you have to point it actually where you want to go, and there are loads of adjustments. The above shot, for example, was supposed to be of these pilings in the river. Mostly just got that grass there though. Eh.
Well, you can see our uniforms are tight:

After the bike ride, well, I mowed the salad down then took this killer long and hard bike ride, came home all uncomfortable, and well, you see the title of this entry. I'll try to be only that vulgar, but it's really hard. Andrew Chen was there. To be continued...


Today is 4/20

Ha ha ha hah hah hah ha ha ha. I just googled and this pict came up, which is nice. of note, of course, is the dude in the middle. ha ha ha. Also, this picture is from 2004!!! ha ha ha ha. Also, here is a picture of Mike and Scott D stoned on alcohol. Las Vegas 2006. It was Scott's 21st birthday. It was a family vacation predicated on getting wasted all the time!! The D family is amazing. Check out Mike's form on that jog downtown!!!!


andre nickatina rap lyrics

Andre Nickatina has this gnar dog song called "Dirty Worm." The song has no chorus. Just two long ass angry, angry verses. In between the verses Nickatina calls the listener, or maybe it's the subject of the song, well, regardless, it's the second person, a "catipillar" (catapilla), a "slug", and says "dats dat Dirty Worm." The song has some real gems in it, though none of them really hold a candle to the over all structure and tone of the raps. Well, here are some of the raps. (note: I can almost rap this whole song a capella). .... .... Well, the lyrics are not available online, maybe when I get home I'll transcribe it and be all servicey, introducing actual content of note to the web. Here are some point and click picts! SLR ones coming soon! Seriously! UPDATE!! yeah right like fuck i'm going to transcribe that whole song!!!!


More fkn ducks

My roomie Brian and his old man. His old man brought by a big ole bottle of Jameson, we sat on the porch for a while sipping cocktails, beers, smoking shag tobacco rolled, and just chillaxin. Brian's dad is the man. I forgot his name, but he's coming soon to Oklahoma!


party up motha ducka

Look at all these handsome and beautiful people:

Where are her pants?

Why can't they just stand up on their own?

Is the beer bewildering to look at in your hand?

These are just some ducks, fool. I tried to spook the ducks to get them to fly away, but they just waddled away slowly and casually. Ah shucks. Maybe next time I'll get some rocks and action shots.


Hot dogs and dogs

It was the first weekend where it was full on spring and even hinting at a bit of summer:

This is Mitch. Those are daisy dukes! This is at Christian and Dave's house.

This little dog kept humping everything.

See? Mechaniching and cooking stuff

Monroe doing a suplex or something. This old dog is about 10000 years old, he will see somebody coming up the sidewalk, start barking, they'll pass by, and he'll keep barking at where they came from. He also has a huge tumor and an awesome beard. Cheech is his name. He's the most favorite thing of that little dog to hump, often from a distance of a few feet. It's pretty funny. On another, more exciting note, I got a new camera this weekend! I'll post some picts soon! It's an SLR camera! This site is about to go from snap-shotty to arty snotty! If you like this, you'll hate that!

Also, on a tragic note, I realized today that I had been shooting one of my point and click cameras for weeks now with the film improperly loaded, thus the film didn't record anything at all! So, in the future, no action shots of long-horned bull, no shots of Mac with ham glaze on his chin, no shots of Steve Wilson or Dan ripping on the keyboard with a guitar in his lap (I was pretty pumped about that one).

Oh well.


Sheeeeit!!, a Friday Threefer!!!

This happened at work today:

Dude comes in to my cubicle, says "I need to steal a few from you"
He always comes in a takes stuff from my out box that I haven't yet filed away. Like, he does this every day. He also, everyday, says, "Need to steal a couple from you." Everyday without fail.
Today I said, "I'll just hand 'em over if you don't wanna steal.." you know, trying to kid or something. He says,
"Just a figure of speech."

? At least this wound up in my inbox email work wise:


Train up Motha ducka

Spencer got a new state of the art bike, here he is describing it's various components. Notice the state of the art cropping to show you, the viewer, those components (not.).

We train hard. Like, distance. Now that he has this bike he's just hounding me to go riding all the time. I'm like, "dude, I gotta hemmroid" or somethin. I'm just bein lazy.

Some secret headstash trail in Lake Oswego.

I almost ate shit taking this shot, going downhill, fast, with one hand operating my camera, and hit a bump/pothole hybrid. Those people in the distance there were laughing at me. I was shrieking, and almost went down. Spencer and I are going to form an iconoclastic bike team. We'll wear jeans and have tall boys in our water bottle holders for the big race. Well, I will at least. Cut-off jeans probably-- gotta have some ventilation.

These are just some ducks.